Tag Archives: Imposter syndrome
I go red when I’m nervous. And when I’m embarrassed. And frustrated. And amused. In fact, any time I experience the slightest increase in emotion or temperature, you will see it on my skin, clawing its way out of my collar and onto my face. I discovered this delightful fact about myself in high school, when someone kindly pointed out that they would have presumed I was sunburnt, had I not been so deathly pale everywhere else. They weren’t the only person to notice, either. Every time it happened, someone would comment on it. Once the focus was firmly on me and my neck, I would get even more uncomfortable, more red, more comments, more anxious, more red, and the cycle would continue.
Fortunately most adults don’t feel the need to comment on every perceived flaw or defect in other people. By the time I was training to become a psychologist, I worried less about whether people would notice me going red and focused my attention on more grown up fears, like whether they would discover I am a massive fraud who didn’t belong here and had probably been let onto the doctorate programme by mistake. Continue reading →